Dicks Before Cliques: How Getting Friend-Dumped Challenged my Faith in Idioms
Right after I graduated college, right as I was about to shut down every club and climb up every pair of broad shoulders I could, I met my current boyfriend of 4 years. I had just been lounging by the pool, thinking about how great being single is when I saw him across the room (well, volleyball court). And I fucking hate to say it, but feelings happened IMMEDIATELY.
That might not sound like a problem, but I was already in love. I was lucky enough to make some real friends who made me feel so loved and important that they became my whole world. This was friendship, this was my life! After a year of Americorps in Arizona I had a scary choice: Make the move to Philly with my friends, or to Pittsburgh with Mike.
I chose Pittsburgh, and have had the BEST TIME EVER. Living with you boyfriend is the shit, and if you don't think so, get a new boyfriend. But still, I had fantasized about a BFF the way some might fantasize about a boy or vacation. I didn't want to lose what I'd finally gained; had I made a mistake? Would I be happier in Philly with my college friends? Had I broken some female code-of-conduct by picking him? What if we break up?
Meanwhile, my friends stayed close, hysterical, and incredible. I’d make the trip to Philly every couple of months, have a great time, and count my blessings. I had both: a great boyfriend who makes me feel amazing and beautiful, and great friends who make me feel loved and important.
Recently, one of these girls and I had a falling out. Ie: I got friend-dumped.
Experiencing one of my favorite people drop me has reminded me that we’re in the real world now and concepts like chicks before dicks is for adolescents, and guess what: A friend can dump you just as easily as a partner.
Glad to finally know I made the right choice 4 years ago.